Muslim and Depressed: Is it Okay for a Muslim to Feel Sad?

Have you ever believed that sadness and depression derives from a “lack of faith”? Has anyone ever unwittingly or perhaps even wittingly made you feel so? People are, even if it’s well-intended, often quick to assume, presuppose or project misunderstood beliefs onto other people, not realizing that every human experience – even sadness – is valuable. A Muslim is not superhuman; he can feel sad or, given severe circumstances, even depressed, and it is okay to feel sad.

Sadness is as human an experience as could possibly be.

One would think that going through low points in life is inescapable, and it only “humanizes” you, not the opposite. So even if life is in troubled waters, do not mistakenly take the sadness you feel for lack of faith. This is simply a misunderstanding and it goes to hurt more than heal. You are as human as God intended you to be.

If you do experience depressive symptoms, it would comfort you to know what Islam, in light of Quran and Sunnah, really has to say about sadness in all its varying degrees.

If it is okay for a Muslim to be sad, anxious, depressed or grieving, then to what extent? Is prolonged sadness a sign of weak faith? How should one speak or act in such times?

Let’s debunk some of these myths about sadness, one by one.

1. The world is a Muslim’s testing place

When, in all of humankind’s history, was there ever a time that the world was perfect and devoid of any hardship, turmoil and suffering? There wasn’t. This world is a place of testing, and there will always be depressing times for a believer. Bad human experiences are inevitable, and Islam consoles us by telling us this.

The Quran repeatedly states that we will be tested with periods of hardship and worry:

“And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones.” (2:155)

“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We believe,’ and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test).” (29:2-3)

Allah’s Messenger also taught us that Allah will test a believer in order to put his affairs in order.

He (ﷺ) said,

“If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5645)

It was also narrated that Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:

“If Allah wills good for His slave, He hastens his punishment in this world, and if He wills bad for His slave, He withholds from him (the punishment for) his sin, until He requites him for it on the Day of Resurrection.”

Narrated and classed as hasan by at-Tirmidhi (2396); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi.

It was narrated by Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:

I said: O Messenger of Allah, who among the people are most sorely tested? He said: “The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A man will be tested according to his level of religious commitment. If his religious commitment is solid, his test will be more severe, but if there is any weakness in his religious commitment, he will be tested according to his level of religious commitment. And calamity will continue to befall a person until he walks on the earth with no sin on him.”

Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (2398) who said: (It is) hasan saheeh.

Know, and rest assured, that every hardship you face is decreed by Allah and that life was never meant to be all rainbows and sunshine anyway.

2. Allah and His Messenger say it is okay for a Muslim to feel depressed

This is, in fact, a continuation of the last point. These difficult human experiences, beget human emotions like sadness and depression.

The Prophet (ﷺ) said,

“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” (Sahih al-Bukhari 5641, 5642)

Fatigue, sorrow, sadness? But, weren’t all these feelings a sign that my faith is dwindling?

Of course not! More unknowingly than not, we can sometimes be hasty to judge others for what are no more than normal human experiences, but Allah and His Messenger know, and they understand. Imagine the beauty of a religion and the endless love of The Creator who ordained it, such that He erases some of our sins for every bit of hurt and sorrow that befalls us. SubhanAllah!

These human emotions are inevitable, and they are essential! That is why, Allah, in His infinite mercy and wisdom, acknowledges the afflictions of a believer’s heart and He consoles and guides us through them. If a Muslim could not be depressed, why would the Quran, repeatedly, not just mention but even comfort us for it?

The Quran offers hope to a Muslim in times of sadness and depression:

“Do not lose hope, nor be sad.” (3:139)

“Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” (13:28)

“…to be firm or patient in pain or suffering, and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic.  Such are the people of truth, the God fearing.” (2:177)

3. If a Prophet can be sad or depressed, any Muslim can be!

The prophets were not just Muslims, but the best of them. Yet we see them expressing great sadness and sorrow when overwhelmed with hardship. They endured with patience and faith in Allah, but that does not mean they did not feel sad.

Yaqub AS’s grief

The immense grief of Yaqub AS over separation from his son, Yusuf AS, is exemplified in the history of Islam. Allah narrates in Surah Yusuf:

“And he (Yaqub pbuh) turned away from them said, ‘Oh, my sorrow over Yusuf,’ and his eyes became white from grief because of the sorrow that he suppressed.” (12:84)

Yaqub AS’s sons rebuked him for crying so profusely.

They said, “By Allah, you will not cease remembering Yusuf until you become fatally ill or become of those who perish.” (12:85)

This was the grief of a prophet, when separated from his living son, such that he lost his sight out of crying for him. Recall that, at the beginning of this article, we asked if prolonged sadness was a sign of weak faith. What of the prophet Yaqub then, who wept years and years in grief? Most traditions say it was a period of 40 years! If a prophet, the most beloved and untainted in the sight of Allah, can be sad for so many years, then any other Muslim should surely not be guilt-ridden for feeling depressed.

Ayyub AS’s distress

We find many more examples of prophets who cried to Allah in distress.

“And (remember) Job, when he cried to his Lord, ‘Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.’  So We answered his call, and We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost), and the like thereof along with them, as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all who worship Us (God).” (21: 83-84)

4. The times Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W.) felt depressed

Ibrahim, the Prophet’s son passes away

It is well-known how grief-stricken the prophet was when his son Ibrahim passed away. He held Ibrahim in his arms and tears flowed uncontrollably from his eyes. The Sahabah, overwhelmed with grief at the sight of the Prophet crying so dearly in public, all started weeping. The companions even asked the Messenger of Allah how was it that he was crying. They feared that crying showed displeasure with the decree of Allah, (Nauzubillah). But, see how the Prophet put things beautifully into perspective when he told them that tears are a mercy from Allah:

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif’s house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!” He said, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.” Then he wept more and said,

“The eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.”

(Sahih al-Bukhari 1303)

In another tradition we also find that the Messenger then turned his face towards the mountain before him and said, “O mountain! If you were as sorrowful as I am, you would certainly crumble into pieces! But we say what Allah has ordered us: (We are the servants of Allah and we will return to Him; We thank Allah, the Creator of the Universe)”

This tradition is narrated in Ibn Sa’d’s Kitab Al-Tabaqat v.1, p.131-144, and Allah knows best.

Revelation suspended for 6 months

On another occasion, when the Prophet did not receive any revelation for six months, he became depressed. The disbelievers mocked him saying that Allah had abandoned him and the Prophet struggled through this waiting period, great sadness overweighing his heart. Allah then revealed Surah Ad-Duha to console him:

“Your Lord has not taken leave of you, [O Muhammad], nor has He detested [you].” (93:3)

The prophet never commanded a Muslim against sadness, for this is a feeling over which one often has little control, especially in the face of loss and adversity. He did, however, tell the believers to mourn silently and not to wail in a loud voice.

A hadith reports:

“He is not one of us who strikes his cheeks, rends his garments and calls with the call of the jaahiliyyah.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1294, Fath 3/163; Muslim, 103)

5. The Companions felt depressed sometimes

The Sahabah were the best of Muslims, after the Prophet, but it was only human that they felt depressed sometimes.

There are countless occasions where the companions of the Prophet cried out of sadness. One such incident is the event of Ifk (slander) against our mother Ayesha RA, the Prophet’s wife.

When Ayesha RA found out about the allegations that were spreading against her, she returned to her parents’ house, where she cried and did not eat or sleep. She narrates this incident herself:

“That night I kept on weeping the whole night till the morning. My tears never stopped, nor did I sleep, and morning broke while I was still weeping.”

“On that day I kept on weeping so much that neither did my tears stop, nor could I sleep. In the morning my parents were with me, and I had wept for two nights and a day without sleeping and with incessant tears till they thought that my liver would burst with weeping. While they were with me and I was weeping, an Ansari woman asked permission to see me. I admitted her and she sat and started weeping with me.”

(Sahih al-Bukhari Vol. 6, Book 60, Hadith 274)

6. A Muslim’s Imaan is not a fixed state, it increases and decreases

The faith of a believer is not a constant state, it increases and decreases such that at times one’s heart overflows with its intensity and at other times one fears that it has become very weak. Even the Sahabah, the blessed companions of the Prophet experienced this and they feared for their Imaan to such an extent that they thought they had become hypocrites.

Hanzalah al-Usaydi said:

Abu Bakr and I went and entered upon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and I said: Hanzalah has become a hypocrite, O Messenger of Allah. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “Why is that?” I said: O Messenger of Allah, when we are with you, you remind us of the Fire and the Garden until it is as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but when we depart from you, we attend to our wives and children and businesses, and we forget a great deal.

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if you continue as you are when you are with me, and continue to remember (Paradise and Hell), the angels will shake hands with you in your homes and on the streets. But, O Hanzalah, there is a time for this and a time for that,” (he said it) three times.

Narrated by Muslim (2750a).

What does this tell us?

Just as emotions of happiness and sadness come and go, so does the faith of a believer wax and wane at different points of their life. It would be unkind to judge ourselves or a fellow believer harshly even if they are, at any point in their lives, at a low state of Imaan.

Sometimes Allah puts a believer through tests only to make him emerge from it stronger than ever and closer in his connection with Allah. Thus, in difficult and sorrowful times one should stand by the believers, uplift them, and continue to think good of them. Verily, Allah knows best the state of a believer’s heart.

7. For a Muslim, being depressed does not mean losing hope

By now we have recounted many sorrowful incidents in the lives of the prophets and their companions. Surely, it is no sin nor unbefitting for a believer to feel sad.

However, what was it that stood out from all these stories? Their patience and hope in Allah! No matter the grief, never once did we see them complain or become disillusioned in Allah’s mercy. They turned to Allah in all humility, knowing He is the Best Disposer of affairs.

The hope of Yaqub AS

Recall first, the story of Yaqub AS, and how he turned to Allah with his grief:

He said, “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah, and I know from Allah that which you do not know. O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people. (12:86-87)

Here is the most important of all things to remember: Even in extreme sorrow, a believer turns to Allah, and never despairs. Nor does he wail loudly or inflict harm to himself. It is patience, which is the hallmark of a believer.

Ayesha RA’s faith in Allah

Recall next, the story of Ayesha RA and the incident of Ifk. Like Yaqub AS and all other prophets and righteous people, she turned to Allah with her woe:

“I said, “By Allah, I know that you heard this story (of the Ifk) so much so that it is planted in your minds and you believe it. So now, if I tell you that I am innocent, and Allah knows that I am innocent, you will not believe me. And if I confess something, and Allah knows that I am innocent of it, you will believe me. By Allah, I cannot find of you an example except that of Joseph’s father: “So (for me) patience is most fitting against that which you assert and it is Allah (Alone) Whose help can be sought. Then I turned away and lay on my bed, and at that time I knew that I was innocent and that Allah would reveal my innocence.”

(Sahih al-Bukhari Vol. 6, Book 60, Hadith 274)

Word of advice from Imam Ibn Taymiyah:

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

Many people, when they see evil or when the Muslim ummah goes through a lot of trouble, panic, lose hope and start complaining as people who are beset by calamities do. But this is forbidden. Rather what is enjoined is to be patient, to put one’s trust in Allah, to be steadfast in adhering to the religion of Islam and to believe that Allah is with those who fear Him and those who do good, and that the best end is for those who fear Him; whatever befalls him is because of his sins, so he should be patient, for the promise of Allah is true; he should seek forgiveness for his sins and glorify and praise his Lord morning and evening.

Never, dear brothers and sisters, lose faith in Allah. Even in sadness, turn to Him.

8. Severe depression is a medical disorder

If a Muslim’s state grows much worse than sadness and he experiences complete detachment and disinterest in life, this depression is clinical. One should, in addition to spiritual therapy, consult a medical expert.

The symptoms of major depressive disorder:

• always feeling sad, anxious and in a bad mood
• loss of interest and lack of enjoyment in activities that people usually enjoy
• constant pessimism and feeling helpless in the face of life’s problems
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness and social alienation
• inability to show or express feelings towards others or to accept feelings from others
• trouble sleeping, such as insomnia, sleeping too long or waking up too early
• eating problems (overeating or loss of appetite)
• chronic physical pain from which no remedy brings relief
• weepiness
• getting tense quickly; hyperactivity and not being able to calm down and relax
• constant feelings of tiredness and inability to do any physical activity
• inability to concentrate, remember or take sound decisions

(Source: IslamQA)

Depression that includes a majority of the above symptoms, is a serious medical illness. One should therefore consult a psychiatrist for treatment, not letting go of prayer and constant supplication to Allah. Do not feel ashamed to consult or ask for counseling. Good companionship and counsel is essential for our well-being in our day to day lives as well.

May Allah forgive us, ease all our hardships and worries and guide us to do the right things.

If you wish to know what Islam says about curing depression, read more here.

Don’t forget to download the Mindful Muslim app which includes amazing duas and guided talkdowns to help muslims facing anxiety, insomnia, worry or depression.

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